Love in the Times of COVID19
The Last Day of Analogue Photography Class
I am writing this offline. I am unsure whether it is going to be something I will want to share or just keep for me to remember today, when all this is over — hopefully soon!
This morning I went to Marvila for my last class of Fotografia Analogica. I had imagined staying longer and working on some more prints, to hug lovely Magda and say bye, probably shed some tears as I am going to miss these Friday mornings with her. I had planned to make her a basket of homemade treats as a thank you for being so caring and available for me, helping me make my project come true, printing everything in time for the exhibition …
The reality is a bit different of course: staying no longer than needed, obviously no hugs or potentially contaminated homemade treats!
But it’s ok. We are all in this together. We say hi and bye with a smile that says so much more. We understand and have respect for one another’s health, and although it would be comforting to just greet as usual, we are going to keep our distance as much as possible, wash our hands at least four times during this two hour period and hope for the best.
It is not fear, it is respect and love.
Funny how, suddenly, keeping away from someone is an act of love.
We talk about the situation. We agree it is best to try and keep healthy in order to be able to help those we love, to avoid taking risks that may spread the virus. We say that yes, it is crazy and the economy is going to crumble, everywhere in Europe and for longer than just one month. That it is a shame businesses like Magda & Domingo’s have to close, but it is what it is, it is what we have to do as citizens and human beings. That we’ll be fine.
We reflect on how this is different than anything else, how there are no borders or limits to this, not in space and not in time. And yet it feels good to be here and still sharing this last glimpse of normality together.
I bike back home hyperaware, with no space left for sadness or saudade. I look at the people outside, enjoying the sun, some tourists here and there. I remind myself not to judge, not to let panic and fear have their way.
I feel good, I feel healthy … maybe a bit sad and scared about how long all this is going to last and what it is going to leave us with: will we simply get used to isolation? Are we going to find new ways of connecting with each other? Will all this fear and blaming one another calm down? Will my family be fine? Will we all be fine? Do I have to worry about food?
One thing I am sure of — who gives two shits about toilet paper!
And is this the time my father finally dies before I can see him after 25 years? Does he still wish me dead? We could all be dead, dad.
And speaking about old people, what about Trump? Is he gonna die? I surely … well … wish death to nobody, my grandma always said. We could at least get rid of Berlusconi, he is like what? 150 years old?
A bit of humour is indeed required, especially dark humour, colour-matching the times.
What about my lovely neighbours? Should I tell them… well, maybe write them a letter saying they can count on us for anything? Are they going to take the hand? Or would it be better to show love with distance?
So many open questions.
Strangely, today I also thought that all this might somehow bring something good for me, and maybe for other people too: a reminder that we as individuals are only as important as our community. That we as humans are only passengers on this planet, that if we all died tomorrow, nature will keep on thriving. In fact, riding along the river today, I imagined what would happen if we disappeared, how the vegetation and city fauna would take back control, covering the streets in luscious green and crumbling all the concrete to pieces.
Just playing with my thoughts, no paranoia involved.
I wish, more than anything else, that all this becomes an opportunity to remember what’s really important. Whilst it is no joke what is going to happen to the economy, and consequently to all of us, this is a good time to finally slow down, look at what we are left with when all the chaos of our daily routine is gone: nowhere to go, nothing to achieve. Quite literally.
Are we then able to be there for ourselves? Are we enough for ourselves?
Love in the times of Covid is no joke, but what if we all take this as a memento that love really is the only answer?
And take the time to make a list of all the jobs that are going to be essential in the Covid times. Like toilet paper factory workers.
Saturday 14th of March 2020.
COVID19 Self-Isolation Day #1.